WLW Women Love Women PODCAST is a lesbian podcast written and produced by The WLW Podcaster and Author of Letters of a Thousand Speeches, S.Sulianah

Season 2 Episode 9

podcast transcript

WLW Podcast is also featured in the Top 20 Lesbian Podcasts You Must Follow (#11) by feedspot.com 



What should you do if that overwhelming feelings hurts and will affect your friendship with that girl you are interested in? You couldn't tell her because of many reasons or probably you could. Avoiding her is sometimes the only solution to move on.

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Hi Everyone. Welcome back to WLW Podcast. WLW stands for Women Love Women. Today I would like to explore more on the subject of avoidance. Before I start this episode, whatever I shared here is based or with reference to whatever I had experienced. And then I wrote it in this book called Letters of a Thousand Speeches. Expressed in poems and also letter-like writings. And the episodes that I covered are basically the main pattern that I noticed whenever there is this relationship that I went through with the women I was interested in all this while. But this pattern does not even exist when I went out with guys, I mean when I used to go out with guys.


One of these patterns I would like to talk about is actually avoidance.

Every relationship which I had with those friends I was interested with, present and past tense, there is this one specific point that I will go through this stage. This stage of trying to avoid them. It doesn’t matter whether when or after how long I have known them or how long I have gone out with them. This avoidance stage occurred when my brain started to think something else apart from going ahead with that friendship I am already having with them. This will be when I started to think too much.


Especially asking myself questions like is this right or wrong to feel this way towards the person? Is feeling like this acceptable? Or statements like Ah she doesn’t feel the same way, so I should distant myself from her. She is probably uncomfortable with me, so I think it is time to stay away. These kind of mind-boggling assumptions and thinking will be like the first step towards my agenda to avoid them. And they will not noticed it actually. I mean most of them don’t. The only one who realized it is I guess is the recent one.  

The reason I avoid them most of the time is for my advantage. I have to because I feel like I need to. And I don’t even know what to do if I don’t. Unless they are single, not straight probably which is difficult to know, then it could be easier.


Hmmmm.. but didn’t I already face this similar situation seven years ago? Ah well, it is a tad confusing sometimes on how to handle it. But most of the time, I realized avoiding is the only solution for me. For my own benefit and also for them too. The only unsuccessful avoidance was with the friend I was interested in 13 years ago. She didn’t know I was interested in her for sure but if she could guess, well great. What she did was she pulled me back in and we are now close friends still like we used to.


Those who I avoided are the ones with intensity level 8 to 10. Those below that I don’t need to because I don’t hangout with them. They are basically there circling in my mind but we don’t pursue it too much.


What I normally did when I avoid them? What kind of excuses will I give? Well, I don’t say it out loud. I will do things like I will ignore their text messages or reply late although I missed them badly. I will reply their text messages very short and in a few words which is rude I know. And when we meet, I will try to avoid eye contact like it is automatic. Actually, the only one I avoided eye contact was with the one I was writing about in this book most of the time. I will talk to her, but I will not see her eye to eye. I just couldn’t. And frankly, it was very obvious. There was one time she asked me before what is the reason.

Personally, from my perspective, I guess avoidance is alright as long as the reason does not harm anyone. I mean if this is the way to handle the problem and control the issue at hand, I feel like why not. If you have some other ideas on how to handle this kind of similar situation, pls do share with me. I am really curious if there are other methods just so that it will not hurt my feelings or the person I was into. Don’t follow mine. You and I have a different situation in hand.


Sometimes, I feel like it is me who are not interested to commit in relationships doesn’t matter about whether the person is taken or not. I mean I had opportunities in various ways but most of it ended up similar to this. A friend of mine actually did say this out loud to me as in what was in my mind. It could be me who is not interested so that is why I am giving all these excuses to avoid and end it. I don’t know maybe. I guess.


Alright this episode is a bit short because whatever I am speaking is somewhat similar to the past episodes.

To purchase a copy of Letters of a Thousand Speeches, it is now available in Amazon. If you buy directly from our website, you will be getting the book at a better price. Also, our book release package which will also consist of tea, coffee, biscuits, and chocolates is still available for purchase in our website. We look forward that you will read this book while drinking coffee. 

Alright guys. I am gonna end this episode here. To purchase a copy of Letters of a Thousand Speeches, it is now available in Amazon, Barnes and Nobles and other online bookstores. If you purchase directly from our website (www.winterscribbler.com), you will be getting the book at a better rate. Currently, we have a gift box which is called the book release package is already available for purchase in our website. 

For the live recording of this podcast, pls visit our YouTube channel Winter Scribbler. The link to the video and the episode transcript is available in our website. 


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At the meantime, I will see you in the next episode. Take good care of yourself. Bye.


To purchase a copy of Letters of a Thousand Speeches, visit Amazon.com or www.winterscribbler.com


You can also contact us for any feedbacks and questions at winterscribbler @ gmail.com

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